This morning after church, I found Andrew and Chloe and took them out to the car. This prevented my two little squirrels from turning on and off lights, and causing general mayhem in the foyer while we waited for the others. Once we got to the car, I turned it on and started the heater since I had been a little chilly. I probably had the car idling like that for about 5 minutes when my car started to talk to me (kind of like "Kit" from "Night Rider", but with a female British accent) and let me know that my car engine was dangerously hot and that I needed to turn the car off RIGHT.NOW. Or else. Except said very calmly and politely.
We have a brand new car, so I wasn't sure what to think. But I wasn't going to go against my car's pleadings to be turned off, especially since the temperature gauge really was in the red zone (bad, bad, bad). So off it went, and I sat there listening to the engine fan humming.
We eventually found the obscure place where the latch for the hood is, and opened it up to look at things. Nothing looked like it was ready to explode, and eventually the fan stopped whirring, so we took a chance and turned on the car again. Everything seems to be fine with it, and I will not be idling it in the parking lot ever again, no matter how hot/cold I am. It's not worth the terror of potential engine meltdown that seemed imminent.
Just like my car this morning, I kind of reached a meltdown point mentally last night. There is so much to think about and going on that my brain was in this overload mode. For the record, by the time my kids start school in the fall, they will have been out of school for almost 5 months. I try not to think too hard about it because it kind of makes me panic that I'm only a month into it. By the time we get back, they will have been out of school for the equivalent of almost an entire summer vacation. And then they'll start another summer vacation. For some people that would make them ecstatic, but for me I'm just trying to figure out what I'm going to do to keep everyone from driving each other crazy. And from driving me crazy. I love them all, but we're happiest when we're all busy and engaged--and right now I'm the only activity planner. And I'm going from one place where I'm making it up as I go along (Europe) to another place where I'll be making it up as I go along (Utah).
We have definitely enjoyed our time together and made wonderful memories--and at the same time, the whole thing has been pretty intense. We're together all. day. long. When one person is having a bad day, it's hard for it not to affect everyone--since we're together all. day. long. Planning an outing every day gets time consuming and expensive. But when the alternative is staying home where I spend the day fending off the electronic black holes of ipods and tablets, it's no better. And I know the kids get tired of going places, but at the same time we're only here in Switzerland two more weeks. And I don't want the highlight of Switzerland to be collecting all of the golden eggs on Angry Birds (nothing would make Andrew happier).
We made a minor adjustment to our plans for the next few days so that we don't go down to the alps until tomorrow morning as opposed to leaving tonight. I needed the time today to just catch my breath. Ryan has been great to do a lot with the kids and I've spent way longer than I thought I would trying to get our blog updated. We'll only be in the Interlaken area one night, and there will be a lot of forced hikes involved. Hopefully the waterfalls will be enough inspiration to keep them going.
It's such a tricky thing to sort through all of the possible things there are to do and then try to divine out of it what is worth the money, worth the time, and is compatible with four children. The internet is a blessing and a curse since it shows me how many awesome things you can do, and I have to sort through everything and say "hmmm. too dangerous. too expensive. too difficult. too boring." until I find something that looks just right. And then I cross my fingers and hope that I'm right, since we don't get a whole lot of do-overs.
Last night it kind of peaked as I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed by continuing this intensity for another four weeks. Which will be followed by 2 weeks of packing and moving out of the house. And a week at the beach. And another week of driving to get out west. And then getting settled into a new life and all that entails. Calgon, take me away!
But then I get a good nights sleep and realize I just need to do a day at a time. So far things have worked out far better than I could have expected, in spite of the bumps along the way. I have done a little better at turning things over to God, which tends to happen when your life is kind of out of control. So here's hoping we can keep it up.
And when I went for a walk today, I passed by these forget-me-nots, and saw a beautiful rainbow. Everything is going to work out!
3 comments:
Amy, I love you! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I asked my kids if they wanted to go to Europe for a few weeks and they responded 'I'd rather go to Idaho'. It's exotic enough to them I guess (and they miss grandparents and cousins). So I probably won't copy your example anytime soon, so thank you for letting me peek over your shoulder.
Amy, I have loved so many of your recent posts, but this one is my favorite. Those last few lines are ones I needed to hear right now. Thanks friend!
I've been MIA for a little while just trying to keep myself from drowning right now, so I've had a lot to catch up on with your blog and I've loved it This is going to be such a wonderful family treasure. I love reality checks! I think they are so invigorating because once it's all out, it provides a fresh perspective. All I can say is you're AMAZING and I can't think of anyone else who could do what you're doing! I think we're going to be in Utah for a lot of July...want to play?
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