O Holy Night

We did a little Christmas pageant with friends and family on Christmas eve. It's always one of my favorite parts of the holiday.

We had to drive 11 hours to get it, but we had a white Christmas this year for the first time in a long time. Michigan was cold and snowy and the kids loved it. From the first semi-snowy rest stop we took in Pennsylvania where they scraped snowballs together to throw at each other to getting the full gear on and digging snow caves--they were in snow heaven.

Baby Love

Sweet baby feet

and crooked first smiles

make all those sleepless nights worth it.

Andrew Turns 3

I have some catching up to do. A few days before Christmas, we celebrated Andrew's third birthday. He has a limited number of interests, so we went with a Mickey Mouse theme. I started off well with the pancakes.

Somehow, even though the cakes started off looking good

they ended up looking nothing like Mickey Mouse. I had to prompt Andrew so he'd know what he was looking at. I would have had better luck just frosting the whole thing black and pretending we were looking at the back of Mickey's head. I'm officially turning the cake decorating job back over to Ryan.

I bought him the Mickey Mouse Christmas Carol. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, so I think Andrew was a little confused with what was going on and left halfway though.

I bought a new LeapFrog toy for him to replace the one he wore out. It was like being reuinited with an old friend for him.

His big brown eyes still melt my heart.

Why is it Always the Mom??

The other day, I loaned a friend one of my absolute favorite movies. It's called "Be With You", a Japanese film I watched on our flight there a few years ago. I won't go into details (here's some if you want them http://www.tbs.co.jp/movie/english/bewithyou/ ), but the mom dies.

So I got to thinking--why is it always the mom?

During Christmas, it's comes in the form of "Christmas Shoes"--you know where the grouchy guy is standing in line in front of the boy who can't afford to buy shoes for his dying mom? The first time I heard it, and probably more, it made me cry. At the beginning of each Christmas season, I still let myself get choked up at least once. But seriously--it is so obviously designed to jerk my heartstrings that I start blocking it after a while.

Take "Holes in the Floor of Heaven"--the mom dies and it rains on the daughter's wedding so she knows her mom loves her.

Finding Nemo--my kids won't watch it because the mom dies.

Perhaps the most disturbing Christmas special my kids have watched: Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey. Here's the premise from Amazon.com: "Stable animals tease Nestor incessantly for his long appendages until, finally, he is cast out of the barn into the winter cold. Snow and ice bring about even greater calamity for Nestor until he receives a dose of divine goodness." The "greater calamity" they talk about was when Nestor and his mother (who went with him) tried to take refuge in a snow bank. Nestor's mother covers him while he sleeps, and when he wakes up, she's dead. Done in. Expired. Kicked the bucket. Right on top of him. And Mason cried for the entire rest of the movie, in spite of the fact that Nestor ends up carrying Mary to Bethlehem. That in no way made up for the dead mom.

And lets not forget the all-time classic Mormon song that started it all for me: "I'll Build You a Rainbow". I remember when I was a teenager that I loved, loved this song. I wanted to learn guitar just so I could play it. If you've never heard it, YouTube offers two versions: there's a "updated" Hawaiian version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDYB26bxDXE&feature=related, and a satirically-acted version with the original lyrics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfwDyVNwbaA&feature=related . I always thought I was going to be just like that mom--the one who is the best soccer player on the block, etc. But then look where it got her--she died.

Does no one care if the dad dies? Or can we only get emotional about dads when they're in songs involving giving away a bride at a wedding or fighting in a war?

The fact is, even though I try to resist some times, I get sucked into all of those songs and movies. And in the end, it reminds of just how lucky I am to be a mom. Especially an alive one.

Phone Calls With a Little Drama

Every now and then you have phone calls where you hold your breath waiting for the person on the other line to give you an answer. I've had two in the last few days, and I'd be happy if I didn't have any for a while.
Phone Call #1: "Hi--I'm calling to add my baby on to my insurance (so they stop sending me all those bills, for crying out loud!). ... How long ago was she born? 38 days... What do you mean I only have 30 days to add her or else I end up paying for all of her healthcare for her entire first year of life $$$? You paid the $5000 worth of delivery bills--I think you should be able to figure out I had a baby!" (By this time the breathing has sped up and I'm starting to panic).

In the end, they asked who Ryan worked for, and when I told the insurance person, she said she thought I was allowed 60 with that employer. But she wasn't sure. She needed to check. And that took a while. And I could hardly breathe as I imagined the hundreds of dollars we would loose if she wasn't right. But she was. And we can still afford Christmas.

Phone Call #2: "Hello, poison control? Yes, this is the same mom calling about the same child that drank a quarter of the ibuprofen bottle 2 weeks ago. (Okay, so I didn't say that. But I think the guilt was pretty thick in my voice nontheless). Anyway, we've branched out to cough medicine now. The kind with that smooth orange taste. Still about a quarter bottle. In a 35 lb toddler. What should I do? (Holding breath as she does calculations...) ...You say the safest bet is to go in to an ER to have him observed for 2 hours in case he has a seizure? I sure hope so, because I have absolutely nothing else going on today, and I'd love to bring my newborn and amazingly active 3-year old into a germ-laden and confining ER. And have to pay for it.

This one ended up with me deciding that since he just barely fell into the ER-observation/just-might-have-a-seizure level, and we live really close to a hospital, and that I would rather have sawed my arm off with a dull knife then spend two hours in the ER with my son (a bit of an exaggeration, but not much)--I would just use my keen nursing skills to observe him on my own. They said he might be groggy (no such luck), but even that didn't happen.

In both cases, I feel like the outcomes have been like little early Christmas presents to a very exhausted mother who is having a hard time keeping up with everything. I can do without the drama, but I appreciate feeling like God is watching over us.

Love, Hate and Love-Hate

The Love? Christmas music. Ryan is a die-hard, tuning in from Thanksgiving to New Years. I put it on when I think about it. The radio was out on the cupboard today, so I tuned in, and it has made such a difference in my day. I find myself alternating between crying over the sentimental ones and dancing to the Feliz Navidad kind. Goodbye NPR--it's Christmas music from now until New Years.

The Hate? DVD late fees. I know I should do Netflix or something, but the kids (and I) enjoy being able to get something for our immediate gratification. Last night at 10:00 as I was holding a wide-awake baby I remembered that the DVD we had rented last Wednesday was due before midnight. It's only a 5 minute drive down and back, but when it's freezing cold and my baby is still awake and it's late, the distance is mentally multiplied times ten. Then the mental dilemna--is it worth the late fee to not have to go? Last night, comfort beat out frugality and the DVD remains in my room. I hate late fees.

The Love-Hate? I told myself I'd never do it, but yet I did. When your total number of cereal bowls is less than the number of people in the family (down from a start of 16), it's time to do something drastic. So I went out and bought Corelle. The plain white, no nonsense, no breaking variety that can easily be replaced piece by piece should my family prove too much of a match even for Corelle. We've already put it to the test, and so far it has passed. I love pretty dishes, but when I see them smashed one by one, even I have to admit that there is a time and a season for things. And this is our season for very boring, very plain, and very durable dishes.

Photo Shoot Part 2

Shauri mentioned that I hadn't included any of our good shots...so here are some of my favorite, as well as a Christmas card that will hopefully be mailed out before December 25th. Making the card is easy compared to compiling and double checking addresses!

Family Photo Shoot

The good news is that I have a good photo for the yearly Christmas card. It only took Photoshopping the heads of half of the famiy to get there.

Here are a few shots that capture the fun of trying to get four kids to put up with their mom's project.


Andrew could have been called "Bolt" during our photoshoot, since he was nearly impossible to keep in one spot.

My 8-year-old has a great sense of humor.

The thought going through my head: "Why do I even try??!!"

Sleeping Baby

She's as sweet as she looks!

A Visit From Aunt Shauri

I didn't get any pictures of Shauri, but I used the cute hat that she brought to take these pictures. It was great to have her here, even if it was just for the day!

Is This a Trick Question?

Every now and then a question comes along that you just aren't sure of the answer. Katie posed one of those to me tonight:

"Mom, when you grow up do you want to be a missionary or an animal?"

Maybe some of you have pondered this one, but it caught me completely off guard. I ended up going with the animal option, for the simple reason that I have already been a missionary and I've never gotten to be an animal. Katie said she would be a missionary, but if she were an animal, she'd be a puppy. Becuase that would last the longest. No, on second thought, she decided that a dinosaur would be a better option. Mason chimed in that he would be a puppy missionary. I imagined having a dog as a missionary companion and decided that I wouldn't have minded it at times, so maybe he's on to something.

Fall Photos

Chloe is sporting her new Baby Uggs (thanks Schills!)--I love her skinny chicken legs--, and Mason, Katie and Andrew are all enjoying the leaves that Grandpa and Grandma Burnside spent two days raking and bagging. I love fall!

New Pictures

Babies are not the easiest creatures to photograph. Unless you like to see them asleep--then it's a piece of cake. Somehow one eye is always half closed, or they have a spit bubble on their lips or they're yawning...it just never quite works out. Here are a couple that I managed to get where she just looks like herself.

I can't believe she's only been with us for two weeks. I can't imagine life without her.













She had her first bath the other day. It was traumatic, as it has been for all of my other kids. Eventually it will be relaxing for her...but not yet. This picture was clearly taken after the torture had ended.













The picture of Andrew on his bed is what he does when he goes to sleep at night. He deliberately scoots his bed away from the wall just enough so that he can stradle the side rail. He does still wear a diaper, so I guess the extra padding must help. Why he does this, we're not sure. We're also not sure why he can't manage to keep his clothes on when he's in his room for quiet time. So many questions, so few answers.

One of my favorite things as a mom is watching my kids playing together. Especially during that window of time when everyone is having fun and before someone starts to cry. It's the best.

Unexpected Outcomes

Chloe's arrival has created a number of unexpected outcomes in our family, one of which is the fact that Ryan is actually the one writing this blog. Go figure. Unfortunately, I am writing it from my computer, where I don't have as many pictures as Amy, so I can't post one of the pictures I would like to, but hopefully Amy will do it when she gets a chance.

So here are my stories.

The first set of stories are about Katie. The birth of Chloe has awakened an interest within Katie about her gender identity. As we approached Chloe's delivery date, Katie began to ask more questions about what it is like to "born a baby." I think we told her at one point something about how it hurts to give birth as a way of letting them know how much their mother loves them and was willing to do to bring them into the world. Days or weeks later, Katie began to put pieces of the puzzle together, and realized that since she is a girl, she could be a mother, and if she is a mother, then it could hurt her too. Then, during the week before Chloe was born, she asked me where babies come out of their mommies. I answered the question as clearly but also discretely as I could. She promptly announced that she did not want to "born a baby." I tried to reassure her that this would be her decision when the time comes and she could make up her own mind about it.

After Chloe was born, everyone (including Katie) was happy to have this adorable addition to our family. On the day Amy came home, I was taking care of the kids while Amy went upstairs to feed Chloe. Katie asked where Amy was going. I told her that she was going upstairs to feed Chloe.

Katie thought about this for a moment, and then asked what Chloe would be eating.

"Milk," I said.

Katie pointed out to me that there is no milk upstairs.

I explained to Katie that the milk comes from Mommy. Katie then exclaimed, "LIKE A COW??!!?"

I'm not sure there was anything I could say at that point. I tried to point out to her that most mammal mothers provide milk for their children, not just cows, but I think it may be too late and the very idea of motherhood has scared her off for life.

The second set of stories I have is about Andrew. We were worried about how Andrew would respond to a little sister. He tends to dominate his mother's attention, and we were not sure how he would respond to having to share it. We thought jealousy was a strong possibility.

Instead of jealousy, Andrew has displayed an amazing attachment to Chloe. He constantly wants to hold her, touch her, tickle her, cuddle with her, and carry her around. We only let him hold and cuddle her, and that only with close supervision. His holding and cuddling is, shall we say, highly aggressive. We are afraid that any lapse in our vigilance could have dire consequences for Chloe. He is, nevertheless, adorable, when he holds her--a full body hug with his cheek caressing hers. A friend of ours pointed out to Amy that he and Chloe were up in heaven waiting together to come down to our family for quite a while, and Andrew is excited to see her after having been apart for almost three years. We love that image. And if Chloe survives Andrew's affection, she will be one tough girl.

One last image of Andrew. With Chloe's arrival and me staying home from work, Andrew and I have been spending a lot of time together. Yesterday Andrew and I went for a walk in the woods. We went along a path we had only taken once before. The last time we took this path, we passed a section where there was some garbage at the bottom of a hill. We had discussed this with the kids, telling them that it was "sad" that people left their garbage in the woods. We have only done this once--probably over a month ago--but as Andrew and I walked passed this section of the woods, he pointed down the hill and said, "Garbage. Sad." Here is a picture.

Baby Chloe

She's here! Chloe Grace was born on November 1st at 5:45 pm. She was 7 pounds, 7 oz. and 20 inches long. She has just enough dark hair to cover her head. Labor was fast and painful, but got the job done.

I'm happy to be home with her and I'm feeling great. The exhaustion will set in soon. But after nine long months, I can't say enough how wonderful it is to have her in my arms!

Can I Have a Do-Over...Please?

This blog post could also be titled, "Save a little, spend a lot."

Instead of paying someone to come aerate and topseed our lawn, we decided to do it ourselves. I called around, found a machine that I could fit in the back of our minivan to rent, and bought the grass seed and fertilizer.

After participating in many Scout fundraisers involving aerating, Ryan tackled the project with no problem, and I felt very satisfied afterward having saved us at least $100-200 off of what we would have been charged had someone come and done it for us.

The next morning, I took the machine back. I had to do a u-turn to get into the rental place, and when I accelerated onto the highway, I heard a loud smash. It turns out we put the aerater back into the minivan with the handle pointing to the back window (as oppposed to the way the rental place had put it into my van the day before with the handle pointing toward the seat). As a result, my acceleration sent the aerater straight through the back window of the minivan.

So...an additional $330 later, we have a new back window, and our aerating project became a very expensive do-it-yourself adventure. You win some, you lose some.

I Heart NYC

With one month to go before baby #4 comes, I squeezed in a girls' trip to the Big Apple with my two sisters-in-law Lisa and Shauri. It's the second time we've done this, and I have to say it's a great tradition.

This weekend included:

Pizza at Grimaldi's--Yum!

Followed by a walk across the Brookly Bridge.

Brunch the next morning at the Tavern on the Green in Central Park

Pedicures for our tired feet--all with "I'm Not Really a Waitress" red polish.

We squeezed in a trip around the Statue of Liberty

And a 20-minute tour of Ellis Island. I could have spent hours there, and fully intend to on one of my future trips.
We tried out the Russian Tea Room for dinner, with a dessert that included gold caviar. I hadn't ever tried caviar before, and I wouldn't have expected my first time to be for dessert. I probably won't be making it at home, but it was fun to try.

And since no trip to New York would be complete without a little Broadway, I went to see Wicked while Lisa and Shauri saw South Pacific (they had already seen Wicked). It worked out great for me since our hotel was a block from the theatre.

A huge thank-you to Shauri and Lisa for a great weekend, and to Ryan for holding down the homefront while I went to have some fun. The only thing that would have made the weekend better would have been having Kristin and Delsa with us too. And not being 35 weeks pregnant.